Autistic Catastrophy

Autistic Catastrophy
A zine by Squee - Philosophy!!!

Religion

The heavy weight of a tyrannical God. Oh the misery and the struggle. And they rear their children shockingly predictably. Their children grow in their naivety and self-denying virtue. Shall they succumb to sacrelig and are subject to a furious, jealous, angry God, they will burn in the depths of a fiery hell.

The great burden of morality and its self monitoring redundance. And the gossiples preach reverence! How I should worship and commit, so I should submit to my soul to the better of two evils. Chained is my spirit; my entrapped spirit. Such is a shallow God, a power lusting God. I watch as my mind is transformed into that of Christ.

And the Devil, oh the Devil. With his trickery and deceit. His claws clenching my soul as I bargain with a God which has forsaken me. This duality is unbearable, if I could only take my life into my own hands. What would I do with such a life. In this round about world of banality. How I strive to have nothing to do with this world.

As then I get sucked into the sickest game of all. A game for Gods and Devils to play with hearts. The game of love and sorrow. Withering as my consciousness explores the broad range of emotions thus associated with. Engulfed in such beauty and such pity. And jealous, oh so jealous. Watching as she goes unknowing that I'm dying and bargaining with the grim reaper of lonely souls.

I feel a waxy tenacity and an emptiness which is so troubling. Carving hearts in the stones and killing off every part of myself which will not, can not, shall not conform. Everything that is me, and has always been me, slaughtered and mutated into something cold and sterile. It's a sick life, a morbid living.

Oh glorious god in the heavens, I offer my body to you in holy sacrifice. To see the beauty of all your creations, I in my depths of being exalt you. May your triumph over evil prosper. Oh mystical god, who works in such mysterious ways, I give you my soul. The evil shall parish and be doomed to eternal hellfire, the wrath of the wretched one, the cruelty of the devil shall rule their souls!

Forgive me god for my sins. I taketh the name Christ into my heart. For he died for the sins of man. Spiritual being whom forever blesses the saints and popes, grant me the security of knowing I will return to your heavens and be with you for eternity. You are my only god, no other idols shall ever convey the image you imprint in the minds of your trusted followers.

Save me from my utter despair. Marry me to my loved, give me the ultimate blessing of everlasting matrimony. Grant me the privilege of creating in your image, the family of new Christians and healthy saints. Let us survive in harmony! Heavenly father, I pray to you for relief, for the satisfaction of the world in a virtuous manner! Send your son down to earth and he shall be the last savior.

I send this prayer to you with a piece of my being attached. God, this is my strongest of offerings! I shall sing in your name, in your glory! I shall teach the fool and not judge the infidels. Wash the sin from my blood soaked hands, clean me of my persistent refusal to accept. God, I return to your majestic worship. I am your son again!

Lord, what is there to lose in my honor of your victory over my mind. My dignity, given to me by your gaces? My love, instilled in my by your creations? My pride, non-existant anyways? My happiness, thwarted by demons and toyed with by devils? Truth, which is only a lie when it's not granted to me through your teachings? Nothing is to lose in my dedication to your greatness.

Shall I admit to being a fool, an infidel? Give up the never ending battle with-in my mind which constantly tries to disprove your existance? Forfit my attempt at decieving myself into the devils control? Yes, YES GOD! I SHALL GIVE UP, GIVE IN!

Human recognizes a similarity with beings it considers less then, forms a philosophy/religion on how to transcend any relation between species, in the means denying everything which gives life meaning! this whole idea that one can escape the finite nature of life by replacing their ideal self with a "holy" image which makes them gain entry to some form of eternity is beyond belief.

Belief is a tool, but for a strict skeptic, it's an impossibility. Faith is a disease, a sublimation of hope, a denial of logic. The sick and twisted pseudo-religo contradictionists have no place in individuality. Only a devil could create such ideal self forming, idolizing, dull-witted shortcut to justified judgments phenomenon. Every two words arguing and counter arguing as man filters the intentions of a god. What God? You mean that figment of escapist ego-defense and death denying idealism. Theist ignoramuses, with one book to read and stories to tell about their great creation. Like dissected hearts and broken appendages they create folly and dismay. Mentally masturbating over their dualistic cheap excuse for definition of reality. Broken down imagination and uniform thought builders. Herded by priests and popes in their Judeo-Christian drag. Monstrous infantiles.

Free Will

Whether or not "free will" exists, it plays a role as the backbone of a variety of different world-views. Freedom of the will, being as abstract a concept as imaginable, is a very tough belief to challenge. Those who dare to challenge its value are faced with a tremendous confusion. Here, I will attempt to sum up a perceivable spin on the issue.

To fully appreciate the concept, you have to ignore the theory of absolute cause and effect. Also, one who values freedom of will must also accept the responsibility of their "decisions". This itself is a contradiction because for someone to understand conceptually that there is an effect to their actions which is deterministic, the rational conclusion would be to understand that their "decisions" are the result of other causes.

The basic belief in free will also serves as a type of "ego defense mechanism". It serves the ego to believe in such a freedom because having such a belief presumes a sense of control. It is well known that it is less stressful to have feelings of control in a situation, thus, the belief in free will is a constant stress relief.

The concept of freedom is generally an offspring of the concept of free will. With-out this prerequisite, freedom is an impossibility. Anyone whom values dignity and freedom must also value freedom of will. The reason for this is because if one accepts determinism of the will, they accept a schmorgasboard of controls. There being, determinism of the will is a direct insult to feelings of freedom.

Scientifically speaking, the theory of free will is pushed under the carpet because science see's most of human behavior as a reflex so to speak. This type of reflex may or may not require cognitive thought, either way - ones thoughts and actions are the result of prior stimuli and reinforcement. Also, one is predisposed to specific responses due to hereditary endowment.

In religions, the issue of free will or determinism is the source of morality. In older religions, everything is determined by gods, which later was abolished by newer, more appealing religions which give humans (the highest form of life on earth and creation) free will. In these newer religions, one must act upon their free will to be virtuous. One must appease over-seeing gods out of a fear of punishment (once again contradicting free will) or to have access to a pleasant afterlife.

Most people who admit to there being a free will also admit to a degree of determinism. Though contradicting, they avoid extremes and absolutes while also avoiding the negative affects of either belief (determinism or freedom of will). This "fence walking" attitude is a way of playing it safe, taking the best from both worlds, and associating negatively appraised thoughts and actions to determinism while at the same time associating positively appraised thoughts and actions to freedom of will.

Those on the other end of the spectrum (determinism of will) have their own agenda. Determinism is perfect justification for control. It's one of the best methods of averting from responsibility. Although this method of maintaining homeostasis of the mind is odd (to say the least), in its own way it also protects the "ego". This is possible because one lacks the need to justify any of their thoughts and actions, making one completely irresponsible for anything negatively appraised.

So to conclude, either of the three possible attitudes towards will has its faults and benefits. The correct approach to the issue would be skepticism. The reason for this being that neither concept is acceptable in explaining life or just people in general. Then again, perhaps the attitude one carries towards the topic is determined anyway. *wink*

Love

Standards or Relationships

There is no single person perfectly compatible with another. Any two people can embark on forming a relationship. Before a relationship can grow there are hurdles to be jumped. Such hurdles are based in a world of subjective value systems. Subjective standards can easily change and adapt if ulterior motives require them to. So, any two people, if willing, can fall in love.

This is by no means suggesting that when love is found it's any less special. It's simply a theory that love is possible between any two people. You can transcend your personal system of beliefs about physique, intelligence, creativity, values, interests, and anything else which requires you to make a subjective standard. The importance of these standards is questionable and arguments can be made in favor of or against such standards.

The standards never disappear due to how deeply they're meshed with the natural fibers of being. Though, they can be ignored and the importance of them can be lowered. Being able to have flexible standards benefits human beings in survival, it's part of adaptability. The more rigid the standards the harder it is for a person to adapt to their environment. All is malleable, and all is in the end, only subjective.

It is only love which can produce hate, and only hate, which can produce love. The beauty of contrast and duality.

To be a "lady's man" first requires you to make a broad generalized assumption of what women want. Instead of seeing each person as having their own individual needs and desires, you must base your personality around some abstract idea of what you've learned to think is the correct way to treat a "lady". At best, the only thing you can do is descriminate and make yourself apeal to a certain type of woman. This type generally being that which is willing to hand over her dignity and submit to special treatment based around gender. I find this to be the apitomy of sexism. Other forms of sexism come from ideas of dominance or punnishment, but this takes a much more hidden form. The basic idea of special treatment is itself the cause of all forms of descrimination. You, ladys men, treat women as if they're all the same... not as autonomous, individual, independent, and self-sufficient, but as dependent, weak, defenseless, and stupid. Unable to open their own doors, serve themselves their own food, and make their own money. Now, on the other hand... a lot of the same actions which are based around descriminating between men and women should just be general considerations to be made for all people. Everyone deserves compliments, friendly gestures, and common courtesy in a relationship with someone despite their gender. When it's not a matter of gender, and is just a matter of being nice... the once sexist actions can be turned into great gestures of kindness. So instead of being a "ladys man" think equally and be everyones man.

Etc.

Beauty is purity.

Types of impurity

Impurity due to external influence
Impurity due to conformity
Impurity due to subjective standards
Impurity due to the meeting of external expectations

That being said; little, if any, in humanity, is pure and beautiful.

All the great minds in the world say something different from one another. It's the depth of what they say which perplexes us. Their ability to trick us with their answers until no more questions can be asked. When contradicted, if it can not be refuted, their greatness is thwarted. Here-in lies the power of deception. Their tyrannical instinct to correlate ideas into something tangible. They are the predator, we the prey. Manipulated into idolization and duped into worship. For to show us something which lies outside our capacity to deny is to hold a great axe about ones throats. Be ware of great minds, their only wish is to control.

The human condition is confusion, and if not, then it is self-deception.